There are many films in this world. Millions. Billions, maybe. I cannot profess to have seen all of them, but I have seen at least 1,000, and probably more. Furthermore, I do not pretend to be hypersensitive to the fine arts. I am a viewer, not a trained filmmaker. Nevertheless, I have seen some really awful films. Now, granted, the definition of awful changes from person to person. However, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016) is the single worst film I have ever laid eyes on.
I have been cooped up in my apartment for the last few days, and was in the mood for something fun. I heard this film was a comedy. Ha! The joke’s on me! The reviews looked pretty good, and I have not seen the previews, so I read some of the reviews. Those couldn’t possibly have been reviews for this film. They said that although this film missed some of its mark, it remained smart, entertaining pop culture satire. Pardon me, I am laughing as I write this.
One minute into Popstar, my reaction was, “Seriously?” Three minutes in, my reaction was, “My God, this is horrible! I wonder if I should leave…” Five minutes in, I thought, “This is in no way entertaining. I hope this is just a joke that ends soon.” Seven minutes in, it dawned upon me, “Holy cow, they are completely serious.” This is how they wanted to make the film. Finally, nine minutes in, I decided to stay for the entire damn movie, because I was going to watch them destroy pop culture, rape my mind, and ruin America. Sorry if I seem overwrought, but the film really is that bad.
It’s not that Popstar doesn’t try; it tries very hard. It tries to be the worst, most tasteless film ever produced by humanity. The film follows a popstar, Connor4Real, played by Andy Samberg, as he comes out with his second solo album. He used to belong to a group called Style Boyz, whose members are played by Samberg’s real-life “comedy” troupe, “The Lonely Island”. Connor’s second solo album starts to tank, and he makes music videos, goes on tour, and interacts with people in his life and business, who are played by a veritable Who’s Who of D-List celebrities, except for his publicist, who is played by comedienne Sarah Silverman, who definitely does not give her all for this film. This film insults a number of A-List celebrities by using stock footage of them to associate them with the goings on in the film. A number of other celebrities appear throughout the film to talk about turns of events, and you get the feeling that most or all of them had no clue what they were signing up for.
The film contains many songs authored by The Lonely Island. The songs have the most artificial, forced, intentionally offensive lyrics that one can contemplate. It is stretching it too much to call them music. There are a number of jokes, but they either have no punchlines, or the punchlines do not meet up with the setup. There are only a couple of jokes that actually make you laugh, and you get the distinct impression that those were mistakes on the parts of the writers. The writers, of course, are also The Lonely Island. There is gratuitous nudity, including director Judd Apatow’s penis shoved brazenly in your face. He of course directs this film. Popstar is meant to scandalize, and does not shy away from alienating many populations when possible. This film is also extremely gross, involving turtle vomit and fecal pancakes among other things.
This film will have you cringing, sighing, gasping, groaning, and hiding behind anything and anyone just to catch some peace. This could have been an incredibly successful satire of the modern pop culture phenomenon. Instead, it is absolute, unmitigated trash. At the end of my viewing, I laughed and clapped for several minutes straight. I truly did not know that such a horrible film was possible. Hats off to the cast and crew for lowering the bar of film by several degrees. This film is endemic of a huge problem with this country, and to some degree the world. America is constantly dumbing down, but that assumes that some vestigial amount of intellect is left. This film has no intellect. Common sense has been murdered with a butter knife, and shoved down the port-a-potty.
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is, to my knowledge, the worst film ever made. On a 1 to 10 rating scale I give it 1. On a 1 to 5 rating scale I give it 1.
Good God, this is horrible.
This blog posting is the personal opinion of Alec Frazier, not the professional policy of his advocacy firm, Autistic Reality. If you oppose it, please screen grab it! I am very proud of this opinion!