Saturday, August 24, 2013

My Coming Out Story, By Alec Frazier

Pride is the contentment and
wonder that results from the exciting,
amazing ability everyone has to be who they truly are.
My brother and I have been known to tussle. One time when I was about 19 years old, one of these tussles ended with me bleeding out my ear. My mother and I went to the hospital and as I lay in the emergency room, I told her that I was bisexual. She asked what had brought that about, and I said, “Well mom, I saw Troy…” We discussed it further, and I admitted that I had been that way from the get-go. There was a short time of me telling people, none of whom reacted negatively at all. My father was fine with it, my brother was fine with it, my friends were fine with it.

Shortly after this time, I had my first sexual encounter with a male, and it was much more fulfilling than the sex I had had with a female earlier. My brother had at one point said, “Come on Alec, we all know you’re actually gay.” So I admitted to myself after this encounter that I was gay. My mother was great with it, saying she had known from the moment I was born. My brother was awesome with it, as were all of his friends except for Carl Sagan’s youngest son, who ran from the house and would not come back in. He later admitted that I had just caught him by surprise. My father was also great with it, and asked me “technical” questions that I had no problem filling him in on. My relatives were all okay with it, except for my grandmother, whose only reservation was that she did not support gay marriage. I said that was okay, since I do not support the current framework that is used for marriages in today’s society. My employers have all been very accepting of my sexuality.
The Biggest Gay Gathering in History
Being gay has been socially beneficial in many ways, such as the time that I put on a briefing on “Gays in Comics” for the oldest comic book club in the United States, the Comic Book Club of Ithaca (CBCI). I later gave the same presentation at UBCon at the University of Buffalo. I have also gone to the 20th annual Gay Days in Orlando and Walt Disney World, where the main day in the Magic Kingdom was home to the biggest gathering of gay people in history. I also joined the gay group at my school, the University of Buffalo’s LGBTA.

All of this said, that was part of my time of “Newly-Born Queerdom”. After I was out of my period of Newly-Born Queerdom, I came to many gradual realizations. For example, I realized that the University of Buffalo’s LGBTA was not an advocacy group, but rather a social club, most of whose members were much younger than I and had many different interests than myself. I also realized that I was probably not completely gay. In terms of relationships, I consider myself to be gay in that I would much rather have a meaningful relationship with a man or men. However, there are a few women—not most, but a few—who sexually entice me. I currently consider myself to be Homoflexible. I am also perfectly fine with sex with or relationships with more than one person, although I have no experience with either as of yet.

In my life, I have only been gay bashed once, over a course of months by a group of roommates at Tompkins Cortland Community College (TC3). I got out of that situation, although not as quickly as I had hoped. I have never been physically harmed because I am gay, but I have been called very horrible things by the aforementioned roommates. Even so, that was not the worst part of that situation. For more on that, see my blog post “Emails to Vice President Walter Poland at SUNY Tompkins Cortland Community College (TC3) concerning Bullying, Loss, Trauma, Gay Bashing, Abuse, and Harassment, by Alec Frazier”. I have since realized that I am incredibly lucky compared to many people who receive or have received anti-gay bullying on a regular basis.

So now you have my coming out story.

This blog posting is the personal opinion of Alec Frazier, not the professional policy of his advocacy firm, Autistic Reality. If you oppose it, please screen grab it! I am very proud of this opinion!

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